When will I learn to keep my damn mouth shut, to calm down, a tone it down?
I did a stupid thing today. I once again let myself get in the way of myself.
in·ten·si·tyI am entirely to emotionally intense, and it can be draining. Today, a conversation got a bit out of control, and I picked an emotional scab. I didn’t even see it coming because I let my emotions take control, and reason took a back seat. I knew that I shouldn’t have been bringing certain things up – intellectually. But I did it anyway. What is this need to “get everything out?” What is it about my emotions that they only come to the surface when its too damn late? I swear, I don’t do it intentionally. I cant help myself. And I need to work on it.
Pronunciation[in-ten-si-tee] –noun, plural -ties.
1. the quality or condition of being intense.
2. great energy, strength, concentration, vehemence, etc., as of activity, thought, or
feeling: He went at the job with great intensity.
3. a high or extreme degree, as of cold or heat.
4. the degree or extent to which something is intense.
5. a high degree of emotional excitement; depth of feeling: The poem lacked
intensity and left me unmoved.
Am I really that sick and twisted? Why do I torture those whom I hold most dear with my own bullshit? Why do I torture myself? I dream constantly, I chase goals fervently, I love deeply and thoroughly. But I must learn to temper that. To even it out. To calm the fire that can be my tongue. Not to extinguish it, but to get it under control sometimes.
I love fully, completely, and deeply. That I know about myself. I have goals that I pursue endlessly, sometimes to my detriment. You'd think that after the conversation I had last night, I'd know better. I should have listened.
I am sorry. It wasn’t on purpose. That was not my intention. At all. It won’t happen
again.
I need to be by myself for a while...
1 comment:
it's called having mercury in scorpio:
"You can be very incisive with your tongue or with your pen. Often using sharp language, you refuse to mince words or show much concern for the feelings of others. You either say exactly what you are thinking or you remain completely silent.
You can be very stubborn in your mental determination and tenacity. Your adaptability is limited in an intellectual sense because your highly emotional approach often has you prejudiced and focused on a set objective."
but as a Libra, i am confident you can tune into your innate abilities to temper your intensity. i have the same issues (moon in scorpio) but i have learned (and am still learning) through my libra rising ;) how to balance all the craziness...
at least you have acknowledged these things exist. it's the first step toward growing through them and becoming an even better person as a result...
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