This So Called Life, Pt. 2

Here is the continuation of my previous post. A few more things about life I've learned.

America crushes dreams

“I want to be a doctor!”
“I want to be a fireman!”
“I want to be an astronaut!”
“I want to be a basketball player!”

Do you remember these exhortations we all made for the first time, somewhere around 3^rd or 4^th grade. Like robots with faulty memories, we shouted them out on queue, but almost every time the answer was different.

We are all taught as children that we can be whatever we want to be. What they don’t teach you is what your chances are, how hard you have to work, and how lucky you have to be. Of the approximately 6½ billion people in the world: 453 (approx) have [ever flown in space] and 360 are playing in the NBA right now. That’s 0.000000697% and 0.000000554% respectively. Depressing, isn’t it?

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that its wrong to dream or have goals to set. I have mine, which aren’t to be a fireman or doctor, but they definitely require sacrifice. What I am saying is that we have been set up for the disappointments we are now facing. Because the enemy of dreams isn’t false hope – it’s reality.

All through high school and college you have these plans. Marriage by 25, owning our own businesses, writing books, etc. But 22 comes and though you’ve graduated, your dream job is wack. Three years later, you’re still half struggling because your dream job pays shit. You take another gig just to make money, but now you’re miserable. It’s almost impossible to advance, because the baby boomers at the top, our parents, won’t move out of the way.

Love isn’t what the movies told you it was. You actually have to work at it. And most of the people you meet are too mired down in their own lives. People change during this time – maturing (or not), their interests diversifying (or not), forming new habits, and so on – and what you’re left with is someone completely different from who you met as a teenager. So that relationship, or marriage, or friendship falls apart slowly.

There are many obstacles that you only find out about in your 4^th cycle. And the majority of them have to do with the way we live. If you want to be a consumer, you have to make money – and lots of it, as there’s always something new to buy here. If you have that dream gig in mind, you’re going to have to sacrifice something. If you want that Prince Charming, you’ll have to face the fact that he’s not as perfect as he was when you dreamed he was after prom night.

Now is when you have to make the choice: Will you follow that dream? Change that dream? Or allow yourself to be crushed?

No one cares about you when you’re broke

Think I’m joking? Here’s an experiment. The next few times someone asks you to go somewhere, tell them you can’t because you’re “low on funds.” Then see how quickly the phone calls cease.At this time in life, the inequalities of life start. All through high school, and college, you and your peers are more or less on the same “level.” If you’re broke, you’re broke together. Working similar crappy jobs. But once you get into real life, things become stratified. This one has a good job, the other one is still in school, and that one is still “finding themselves.”

So when its time to go out for drinks, or to the Bahamas for vacation, the broke person is left at home. And the relationships begin to break down. Not to say that one person should always have to cover for another, but that person is often left at home. And ends up being left out. In America, if you don’t have money – and thus the capacity to be a consumer – no one cares about you. Especially if you’re a man. Fuggedabatit.